Concussing three crows with one stone (cause' killing two is primeval)
by Radioactivesnail
Summary: One idiot, two idiots, three idiots, Tsukishima counts. There are many more idiots, but those are the three giving him a headache at the moment. Wherein Tsuki is not denser than Hinata, and hence is far too aware that Kageyama is hopelessly in love with (and in denial about) the cute little shrimp, and to his dismay his Yamaguchi is apparently just as dense.
1. Chapter 1

Yamaguchi had always thought that, contrary to popular belief, Tsukishima had a pretty high EQ.

After all, he was the one that had said loudly to Yamaguchi after their first practice at Karasuno, "Hm, how long do you think the Cap and Vice have been dating?", with a smirk at Yamaguchi's loud 'EEH' of disbelief and the gurgling sounds of Suga choking on air behind them.

(Whether it was worth having Daichi smile very hard at them and ask them how they knew was another matter.)

He was also the one who complained about Nishinoya 'needing to get over his fucking boyfriend' long before Asahi had actually returned (body and spirit, that is), and Nishinoya had tackled him to the ground, hands wrapped around his neck, sobbing totally manly tears of joy into the giant's chest.

("Wow Tsukki," Yamaguchi had said, watching a flustered, blushing Asahi try to calm Nishinoya down. "How did you know?"

"People don't get that upset unless they were dating." Tsuki had replied with a sniff of disdain.

"Wow Tsukki." Yamaguchi was awestuck.

(As usual.))

So when they one day overheard Hinata complaining to Tanaka about how Kageyama was ignoring him but telling him nothing was wrong, and Tsukishima had scoffed out the word "dense", Yamaguchi knew.

About forty percent.

"Tsuki… So…. Kageyama….. Hinata?"

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"Of course," he said with a pretty little evil smile. "The King is so obvious it's going to make me cry."

"Ah." Yamaguchi said, and he knew if he were in a manga, he would probably have three lines running down his face. He tried to nod knowingly, because it certainly hadn't been obvious to him, and wouldn't that make him dense too?

Aah, Tsuki surely wouldn't want a dense friend…

And while he was fretting, he did not notice his Tsukki giving him a sidelong glare before looking away, muttering "dense" under his breath.

[A/N: I'm 1000% sure that, much to his own chagrin, Tsukishima is usually one of the first to notice any budding romances around him, since he's smart and all (cough unlike the rest of the cute dummies cough). Do leave a review if you like this! I wanna talk to you guyssss

Originally posted on my AO3!]


	2. Chapter 2

[Edit: Added some stuff that were removed because they were links Like Astrology dot com and my tumblr!]

Tsukishima is a Libra, and according to Astrology dot com, Libras are one of the most social star signs. Yamaguchi feels a little proud of himself when he reads this; he _knew_ Tsukishima had a high EQ. (He ignores the fact that he had once decided never to believe in horoscopes, since he was _not_ a manipulative sex maniac (that only has 74% compatibility with Libras.))

And after his 'sociable' Tsukki opened his eyes to the Kage-Hina Situation, one could compare it to an experience with that one duck/rabbit picture. At the beginning, it looks resolutely like a fucking duck, but once it is pointed out to you that look, it's a rabbit too, it's quite impossible to _stop noticing it's a rabbitduck every time you see the picture._

And you find yourself wondering, well, how could I not have noticed from the beginning?

That Kageyama was not only constantly looking out for Hinata, he was constantly looking at Hinata.

Arguably, he had to do it during volleyball practice since he _did_ have to know where Hinata was to toss to him, but it was hardly necessary to watch someone when they were changing in the locker rooms.

That was slightly creepy, and Yamaguchi suddenly realised he'd found the answer to why Tsukki disliked changing in the locker room. It wasn't much of the worry of being ogled at; it was obvious Kageyama only had eyes for Hinata. But rather, it was impossible to not just know Kageyama was (seemingly subconsciously) watching Hinata, and after a while it started to feel like he was intruding on something private.

"Aah! Tsukki! It's all your fault!" Yamaguchi had burst out, pulling his hair in frustration one day. Tsukishima arced an eyebrow. "I can't unsee it now that I know!"

Tsukishima blinked twice, then lowered his brow and pulled his face into one of vaguely irritated long-suffering.

"I know," he said, rolling his eyes so hard his head lolled along with it. "For someone with so much energy, the King has no guts. People with crushes need to just ask them out for everyone's sake, I can't stand all the staring and pining, it's pathetic."

Yamaguchi noticed Tsukki was wearing his spare glasses that day; they sat more loosely on Tsukki's ears than his usual (identical) pair. No wonder he had to copy notes from him today…

It took a while for Yamaguchi to realise that Tsukishima was looking at him pointedly, left eyebrow arced again.

"A-ah, yeah, he really needs to ask Hinata out, it's getting really awkward, isn't it!" he said.

Only to have his Tsukki look away with a slight 'tch', and Yamaguchi caught the word "dense" again.

"Yeah, Hinata's really dense not to notice too, huh... E-eh Tsukki? Wait up! Sorry Tsukki did I say something wrong? W-wait for me! Tsukkiii you left your pencil!"

* * *

[AN: oh look I just discovered linebreaks.

Yamaguchi is a Scorpio! And I hence automatically love him (being a supposedly manipulative sex maniac myself (Disclaimer: I'm not)). Anyway, fun facts! Kageyama is a Sagittarius, who are known to be diligent workaholics; Sagittarius is sometimes known as the Scholar of the signs. Hinata is born on a cusp date, and has mixed characteristics between Gemini and Cancer, signs which are known for their expressiveness and being very emotional respectively.

Whelp I have a tumblr, talk to me okay! You can prompt me if you want (but ehehe love goes both ways you know) I'm a very lonely person ): (all my friends refuse to watch Haikyuu until it's over, but that's in liKE 13 WEEKS?) Vagrant-vitality My tumblr!]


	3. Chapter 3

Tsukishima had been oddly nice to Hinata, and nobody knew what to feel.

Daichi thought he ought to feel relieved that, finally, at least _some_ of the first years seemed to be getting along. Yet he could not help but glare suspiciously at the blonde every time he was being a little _too_ nice to Hinata. Call it a Father's Instinct, but something was probably very wrong.

("Maa, maa, Daichi-san," Tsukishima had drawled one fine day (while spiking for Hinata so the latter could practice receives) when he'd noticed his captain's glare. "Better not let Suga-san see you staring at me like that…"

As Suga peered over curiously, Daichi smiled at Tsukishima, which thankfully still had the ability to make his junior blanch and shut up.)

All Suga knows is that relief is the _last_ thing he ought to be feeling (since a Mother's Instinct is usually more failsafe than a Father's one). Sudden changes in personality were worrisome in any situation, and this situation wherein the team's resident snark king decided to _stop_ being the snark king towards a single target was enough to make Suga's hair grey (oh wait).

("Suga-san, frowning so much is going to give you wrinkles," Tsukishima says mid-spike. "It'll just complete your look as a grandm- "

He stops mid-sentence, to Suga's amusement, as a volleyball slams hard into the back of his blond head. Amidst Yamaguchi's concerned 'Tsukki!'s, Suga heard Kageyama growl with barely suppressed irk.

"Oh, sorry, I thought I was supposed to be practicing with Hinata.")

Kageyama did not know what Tsukishima was thinking, and he hence could not decide what to feel. Should he be worried, or angry (or jealous)? The rational side of him (the side that told him where to toss so that the volleyball would meet with the highest point of a spiker's spike) told him Tsukishima _knew_, and was screwing with him. But the irrational side (the side that told him it was fine to put B for all thirty multiple choices in an exam because then at least he would get a _few_ right) whispered that _maybe_ he should feel threatened because _maybe_ the orange haired idiot was more popular than he thought.

("Ah I thought it was suspicious," Hinata told Kageyama, squinting suspiciously at his straw so he looked slightly cross eyed. "But I guess since I have one more person to practice receives with, it's okay?"

Kageyama envied Hinata's nonchalance as the latter shrugged and moved on to chatter about how much homework he had.

"Yo, Hinata," Tsukishima said as he walked past with Yamaguchi on his tail. It was clear from the hurt look on Yamaguchi's face that the blonde had broken off a conversation just to say hi.)

Yamaguchi did not know what to feel, but definitely knew what he _felt._ He felt like crying. Just a little. Ah but he knew Tsukki would like someone _eventually_. Attempting to look on the bright side, he supposed that, at least, he finally knew what kind of person Tsukki likes. He knew he would have to resign to Tsukishima getting a girlfriend someday, and he supposed this wasn't all too different. He still felt the heavy resignation.

(Nishinoya and Tanaka, too, did not know what to feel, since being the morons they are, they've yet to notice anything was amiss.)

Honestly, the only one who knew precisely what to feel was Tsukishima, and he was pleased at the general confusion. Although he had a nagging feeling something (someone) was a little off the way he intended his plan to unfold...

[A/N: Eh, I'm usually very against the use of Japanese suffixes in fics, but in this case, it kinda suits Tsukki more to be extra polite when he's mocking people (coughseniorscough), so I decided to use suffixes on and off…. Sorry if it seems kinda inconsistent. Anyway, advert time, asphodelwinter at tumblr; I'm starting a writing blog! It's a fetus but whelp.]


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